Posted by: eshne | March 29, 2008

TV helped me realise I was a lesbian

Help! I’ve just lost another hour of my life to YouTube. How does that happen? All I planned to do was look up a clip from ER and I got completely sucked in to reliving the whole drama between Dr Weaver/Kerry and Kim (Laura Innes and Elizabeth Mitchell). Do you know it? If not take a look at the video clip below.

I wanted to track down a few scenes of the romance because it was whilst watching the relationship unfold on my TV I thought, Sh*t I think I might be gay. I say first time, because it took quite a few more moments like that before I fully embraced my love of women. (So I can’t honestly say that Elizabeth Mitchell turned me to the dark side… as much as I wish I could.)

What got me thinking about Kerry and Kim in the first place was a post on the Awakenings blog of The Recovering Straight Girls Twelve Steps to Becoming a Lesbian. I agree with almost every point on the list, although there is one very important one missing. Introducing point number thirteen..

13. We have searched the internet far and wide for lesbian films, lesbian tv shows, books with gay women and poems about sapphic love. And once we have watched all the bad ones, (wondered why Lost and Delirious is so melodramatic, wished there was more sex in Imagine Me & You), read the okay ones, cringed at the awful ones, and fully saturated ourselves with YouTube clips we finally admit to ourselves that we might like to go out into the world and try some sapphic love for real.

Do you agree? Should number 13 make it on to the list? 🙂

In case you’re interested here are some other defining media moments, in no particular order:

  • Pausing the video when Sharon Stone uncrosses her legs in Basic Instinct.
  • Being disappointed when Keira Knightly wasn’t gay in Bend it Like Beckham.
  • Loving Maura Tierney in a leather jacket.
  • Feeling more than intrigued when Anna Friel kissed her best friend in Brookside.

I want to compile a list of defining TV moments so if you feel like sharing, please add yours by commenting on this post.




  1. I never saw gay people like myself on TV, but I always looked up to the rare tomboyish character on TV and was so overwhelmingly disappointed when she got a boyfriend, found her box of make up and never looked back at her soccer ball again.

    We were just talking in class today about how popular images of lesbians from things like The L Word are being consumed by newly coming out generations and how that is shaping their identities. I can’t help but think the surge of lipstick lesbians and so much femme/femme has to do with the consumption of things like The L Word.

  2. You are probably right about the L word influence – tv definitely has a massive power. (Though recently I think Tasha has added an edge of masculinity that the show was missing).

    Speaking for myself I was already way into femmes before I discovered the L word (I am also femme) – but I think mainstream society is more accepting of femme/femme relationships so it can be an easier first outing into gay life.

    The more comfortable I’ve become with my sexuality the more I’ve found myself attracted to masculine women. Maybe that will happen with the L word and similar TV series – they start with the most mainstream acceptable characters then gradually challenge the boundaries by adding a richer mix…. would certainly work for me.

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